Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
