i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
