I wanna bring you to show and tell
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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