Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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