you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
