The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You need Xanax blowdarts
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
