i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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