hotel room ftw
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You are a genius and a whore.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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