Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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