Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize