he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
50% drunk capacity currently
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize