You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I still have a little drunk in my system
this is an emotional support booty call
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
