U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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