Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
