I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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