Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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