yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
