You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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