everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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