I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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