If that was your dad, he is hot
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Alive.
So much puke
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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