Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
