i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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