So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
