At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
