So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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