they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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