Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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