Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
