You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just pee around me
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize