need another drink. this is the easiest way
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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