you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
