if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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