I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
