Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
