we made out on top of his cat.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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