So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
