i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
