they need to just BURY HIM!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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