Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
