were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
