i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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