Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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