UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
