just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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