apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
