she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
