I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
