I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
