If i could tip my vagina, i would.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
