Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
