She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Me too!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
