If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So vagazzling was a success
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
