She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
