The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
