um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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