i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
