did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
A bitchslap is in order.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
