his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize