you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
