If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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