remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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