I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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