Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
