Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I need to align my fucking chakras
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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