I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
